(Some) figs aren’t vegan because they digest the bodies of a certain species of wasp, the queens of which lay their eggs and die in the fig. Hatched male wasps also live their entire lives inside the fig, making tunnels for females to escape but dying once their task is complete. (Not before mating with their sisters, though…)
Thus, these carnivorous figs cannot claim to be vegan, and are laughed out of the cafe by the hipster loganberries and dragonfruits who call them out on their bullshit from behind their antique typewriters.
(But the joke’s on them — they’re just mainstream fruits while the fig is an inflorescence.)
If you see figs in a store, though, they are a vegan food. Commercial figs aren’t pollinated by these wasps.
The commercially cultivated fig tree is usually a female parthenocarpic variety of the ancient common fig (Ficus carica) and does not need pollination to produce fruit.[1]
Saying that, if I were vegan I would still consider wild figs fertilised by these wasps to be vegan. It’s the natural life cycle of the wasp and no animals are suffering because you’re eating these figs.
Practically all produce you get from the supermarket contains trace amounts of bugs, anyway. There’s an acceptable limit for how much is in various foods, so if you draw the line at figs, you’re going to go very hungry.
If you happen to take a bite of a wild fig and feel a crunch, it’s the seeds you’re chomping on. The wasps are tiny and have probably already been digested by the fig anyway.
Here’s a diagram of a fig.
Fig. A:
Yes. Definitely a fig.
Go fig-ure.
Ha.
Ha.
DON’T JUDGE ME.
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