Good Habits
While an admirable transformation (I think you know you could always do this), it seems you are very OCD driven (self concious, certain habits) through those volatile years. And if those are not addressed I am not sure if you are genuinely happy. It seems to me, you are telling yourself you are happy and seeking validation (which is what you seem to get).
No need to downvote this, it’s such a valid question and I think I was in that mindset about a year ago. I had finally reached my target weight and I was so excited, I thought I was happy because I was finally at a ‘healthy’ weight but then the self-consciousness did set in and I got nervous to gain a single kilo.
I think that’s why I waited to post something like this until I did gain some weight back, because I wasn’t happy. Like I mentioned, I was moody and frustrated, and I knew something was off.
About 4 months ago I took off my fitness tracker and deleted my calorie counting app. I got through COVID eating more than I have in years and moving less. Do I get a bit upset when I step on a scale now and see that it says I’m ‘overweight’ for someone of my height? Of course I do, I’m human and we’re our own biggest critics, but what’s different now is that I don’t run to manage my calories for the day, and I don’t feel like I need to run to the gym, and that’s what I mean by I feel happy.
I feel more free in my actions, and I don’t mind the fact that I had dessert last night, and I’ll probably have the leftover dessert tonight. I don’t feel like I have to prove something at the gym, I go there now because I love the endorphins and the mood it puts me in when I finish a workout. I feel happy because I don’t feel restricted by my body. It’s not at an unhealthy weight where I run out of breath doing simple activities, but its also not strained to the point where I feel sore and tired all the time from working out too hard. I’ve been at both extremes and neither one feels good.
I waited to post this something like this until I was sure I wasn’t lying to myself just to get strangers approvals. I don’t like to be that type of person. My goal here is more to say it can be done if you put your mind to it, but don’t let it overtake your life.
Thanks so much for the comment, it definitely made me think this morning, and it’s something that I’ll probably continue to think about!🤟
0 Comments