Being a jerk to yourself is expensive.
- bad moods
- low self-esteem
- poor relationships
- loss of productivity
You pay a heavy price.
Then why do people still do it?
What makes them dish out that much deliberate emotional pain to themselves?
Here are 5 reasons why:
1. Dumb parenting
Parents often call their children dumb or stupid every time they do a mistake.
That kind of knee-jerk parenting does more harm than good.
In time, the child learns to internalize that behaviour.
They start doing the same to themselves.
2. They don't want to lose their edge
They criticize themselves to outshine the competition.
They forget that they're successful despite the criticism.
Not because of it.
Hold yourself to a high standard.
Doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up for the smallest mistakes.
3. They worry about appearing arrogant
They don't want to appear arrogant or vain.
So they beat themselves up to "keep themself in check".
But you can never control what others think about you.
It's up to the filters through which they see you.
So why even try?
4. They fear that self-compassion will make them a narcissist
People think that if they praise themselves, they will turn into full-blown narcissists.
They will become lazy, and self-absorbed.
They will start shirking their responsibilities.
But they are wrong...
No one likes people obsessed with themselves.
But obsessing over your flaws and mistakes makes you just as narcissistic.
Treat yourself with kindness.
It helps you stay present and connect meaningfully.
It's the exact opposite of what a narcissist does.
5. They find it too hard
No doubt self-compassion is hard.
But here's what most people don't realize...
Being kind to yourself is a skill.
And like any skill, it's hard to develop at first.
But it comes easier once you put in the reps.
The solution - be present. Check yourself at every opportunity when you verbally abuse yourself.
And try being kind to yourself for a change.
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