Tom, Dick and Chekhov walk into a bar; they are all armed. The three friends are lying low after their daring bank robbery a couple of days ago. Two of them are going to die in 20 minutes. This is the story of those 20 minutes and three things that happened inside them.
Dick slides up to the bar and says to the bartender in the most casual way, “I’ll have a beer.” The bartender then proceeds t…..BUT WHICH BEER, RICHARD GERE
No. 1: Apparently, bartenders in movies, aside from being certified therapists and Oprah surrogates, are also telepathic. Characters in movies never specify what drink they want. Dick wants a beer? Okay, Dick, which one of the over 2,500 beer brands (Only USA) do you want? We don’t know, but the bartender does.
Another thing that doesn't happen in bars - A bikini clad Salma Hayek dancing on top of tables.
While Tom gulps down his miracle beer, Dick and Chekhov have a glass of whiskey. Dick notices someone across the room, a friend who had turned foe because he was excluded from the heist. Dick’s senses are tingling. Something’s not right. He signals his comrades that it’s time to leave. Tom had just ordered another beer, but he too, senses danger. Tom pays the bartender, and they begin to leav…….. WHERE’S THE BILL, JONAH HILL
No.2: Two things. Firstly, characters don’t ask “How much is it?” Yes, sometimes they have the bill, but a lot of the times, they don’t. Our bartender was already psychic, and now Tom is too. Secondly, characters either always pay the exact amount or have cash to burn, because they never wait for the change. How many times has a character just placed some cash on the table and sauntered off? Countless
Los tres amigos are about to exit, but they are stopped by the man Dick had spotted earlier. A few choice words are exchanged, tensions get frayed and all of a sudden, a brawl breaks…..BUT WHY THE FIGHT, M. KNIGHT (Shyamalan. Man, I feel like Jean Ralphio)
No.3: Bar fights. They happen far too often in movies. If you’re a movie character who visits the bar occasionally, chances are you’ve seen your fair share of bar fights. And they always end with the hero standing alone among a pile of defeated bodies. He then walks up to the bartender and says something like “I’ll have that beer now.”
Things are dire for our protagonists. The fight has escalated to a shoot-out. And although they’ve killed most of their opponents, Tom and Chekhov are already dead. Dick is the only one standing. With his life hanging by a thread, he reaches out for Chekhov's gun on the floor and shoots the last of the bad guys. He walks up to the bar.
Dick: I’ll have that beer now.
Bartender: STOP THE DRAMA, MICHELLE OBAMA.
Dick: What?
Bartender: WHICH beer, dick?
Dick: You can’t break the fourth wall like this man.
Bartender: HOLD THE PHONE, SHARON STONE. I can do what I want.
Picture Source Wikipedia
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