What would happen if a chimpanzee tried to attack a rhino?

What would happen if a chimpanzee tried to attack a rhino?

Ladies and gentleman, I present Charles Chimpington III, the world’s most confident chimpanzee:

Charmed, darling.

Charles weighs around 60 kg (130-ish lbs), and he’s notorious for bragging to his friends about his martial prowess, whether they want to hear it or not.

C’mon guys, I haven’t even got to the part where I tied a reticulated python in a knot…

He’s outdone himself this time, though, because he thinks he could make short work of this horny herbivore:

The southern white rhinoceros is behind only the elephant(s) as the largest land animal on the planet, by mass. Males average over two tonnes (2000 kg) and can get considerably larger.

He may not know karate, but he knows keratin…he’s got a big ol’ sword made of the stuff sticking out of his face hole, ready to impale any impish apes who’ve got too big for their boots.

Cape buffaloes are some of the scariest animals on the planet, and this guy turns them into beef kebabs if he’s having a bad day.

Not fair?

Fine, let’s make Charles’ opponent a black rhino. Average individuals probably weigh in at just a smidge over a tonne. If anything, their own face swords are even sharper and pointier than their big brother’s.

Now, Charles the overconfident chimp has had one fermented fig too many, and decides to make this absolute unit his next target.

Chimps are tough, but they don’t have the simian superpowers the internet sometimes bestows upon them. Pound-for-pound, they’re only slightly stronger than a human (the internet “facts” about them being several times stronger are based on outdated, faulty tests).

They have some nifty teeth that can do serious damage to our own meagre defences, but the thick-skinned rhino is immune to the chimp’s chompers, just like it’s immune to practically anything that doesn’t have two tusks, a trunk, and a surfeit of sex hormones.

A pride of lions would struggle to take down an adult rhino, let alone an ape that doesn’t even hunt anything as large as itself.

---

So, what would happen? The notoriously short-sighted rhino would see a small dark blur gesticulating at him, and charge in the general direction of the antagonistic ape.

If Charles didn’t swiftly reevaluate his life choices—and find the nearest tree sharpish—he’d become an artistic smear on the savannah floor faster than you could say “well that was predictable.”

That was a bigger mismatch than 2020 vs my mental health.

Picture Source Wikipedia

Thanks for Scrolling